Talking is essential in any relationship, and if you step back and look at how you and your spouse talk to each other, it can help you understand more about the state of your marriage.

As marital problems arise, couples often change the way they communicate. In many cases, it gets to the point where the communication is so dire that both parties realize divorce is probably the only solution left.

Here are some red flags to look out for

These conversational styles suggest that you either need to get couple’s therapy fast or start considering a divorce.

• You only talk about the bad things: No relationship is all good or all bad. Failing to remember or celebrate the good stuff and only talking about the bad moments in your relationship will only lead to deterioration.
• You always or you never: It is tough to have a constructive conversation when someone starts with “You always” or “You never.” Remember, both are typically not true as there is usually the odd exception. Beginning with those words suggests that the whole problem is with the other person when the real issue is how those actions make you feel. If you want your spouse to address an issue, do not start by criticizing them so blatantly.
• You no longer talk: Most couples have moments where one person is so upset or annoyed that they cannot bear to talk to the other, but this is different. If you no longer talk because one or both of you see no point in it, you may be close to the end.

If you realize your marriage is broken, remember that divorce can be a conversation rather than a fight. With the right attitude and appropriate legal help, you can discuss how to resolve your situation as efficiently as possible.