It’s a phrase you likely first heard as a child and have possibly repeated to your own children: “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” It’s advice that can prevent you from causing irreparable damage during and after your divorce.

Risk of Parental Alienation

Speaking negatively about your ex in front of your children can lead to allegations that you are working to turn your child against them. Even worse, you may damage your child’s relationship with their other parent by poisoning their view of them. You do not have to like your ex, but it is important to respect their role in your child’s life and do everything you can to make sure your child’s relationship with them is a positive one.

(Anti) Social Media

We get it; you think your ex is a four-letter word and their actions drive you up the wall. It’s okay to vent your frustrations to a friend or loved one in a private setting, but it is best to avoid airing your dirty laundry in the public sphere via social media. Your social media posts, direct messages and other online content could become evidence in a divorce or custody case and harm your parental rights.

This Isn’t About You or Your Ex

Remember, you don’t have to be friends; you just need to be effective co-parents. Keep the focus on your children and doing what you can to provide them with a nurturing environment to thrive as you build your new life.