Nobody ever said that divorce would be easy. So follow these ten steps to make it as smooth as possible.
Hold your tongue.
Do not vent to your children about your ex. Do not forget that your ex is their parent. You do not want to ruin the relationship between your child and their other parent.
Always assume their best intentions.
Do not fill your head with false realities about your ex. The divorce process is challenging for everyone involved. Your ex may not be presenting themselves in the best way possible. Please give them the benefit of the doubt and choose to forgive rather than hold a grudge.
Be clear and kind.
Make sure your emotions do not get the best of you. Try to keep your thoughts clear and free of negative attitudes.
Stay focused on the goal.
One of the most significant steps is over. The divorce process has begun. Do not lose sight of the goal and drag things out longer than necessary.
Rank your priorities.
The middle of the divorce process is not the time to be greedy. Instead, consider what you find essential and focus on that. Keep in mind that you may have to compromise on some things that are important to you to receive others.
Focus on equity, not equality.
Asset separation in divorce does not always turn out to be equal. Ask yourself what matters most to you and focus on that. For example, if time with your children matters most, focus on that venture and think about things that you would be willing to give up to accomplish your goals.
Feelings of anger, frustration, and hostility are all normal during the divorce process. Nobody said that it would be easy. Rather than letting these emotions get the best of you, practice empathy. Understand why you are feeling this way and that your ex may be feeling the same.
Set healthy boundaries.
Remember that you teach people how to treat you. Set healthy boundaries with your ex to promote a healthy relationship from the split onward.
Your ex probably was not all bad. You probably had some great times and helped each other tremendously. Express gratitude towards them instead of holding a grudge.
Leave the threats at the door.
Heartbreak can make people do crazy things. So do not send your ex any threats or ultimatums. These will not get you anywhere good.