When a marriage falls apart, trust issues often exist, as well as some potential animosity. Divorcing spouses frequently do not see eye to eye. When children are involved, divorcing parents may have differing opinions about how to raise the kids. However, even when parents agree on what best serves the well-being of their children, transitioning from a one-household family to two can raise concerns for any parent.

Some people find irony in trying to arrange an ongoing co-parenting plan with the person with whom they are parting ways. But the truth of the matter is, parents can resolve co-parenting issues in divorce to benefit their children.

At the Plymouth law firm of Selleck Legal, PLLC, our founding lawyer, Stacey L. Selleck, takes an individualized approach to resolving child custody and parenting time problems.

The family court is not concerned about the personal animus parents may have for each other in child custody matters. The goal of the Friend of the Court office and the family court is to serve the best interests of the child. For that reason, parents who are able to focus on the well-being of the children, despite their feelings toward their co-parent, may be able to retain more flexibility with a reasonable parenting time arrangement.

Below are a few tips that may help you ease the transitions for your children today, and into the future:

• Try to keep your feelings toward the other parent in check — We understand that your marriage has broken down. However, your children will continue to maintain a relationship with you and with your co-parent. Avoiding confrontations with the other parent and keeping your feelings in check may provide a positive foundation for your children. Badmouthing the other parent is something that can have a negative effect on the children.
• Learn a new way to communicate with your soon-to-be ex — While you may not see the necessity of remaining close to the other parent, it may be beneficial to have ground rules for communicating about child-related matters. Communication may take on a business-like manner, allowing you and the other parent to share the common goal of following the custody and parenting arrangements to benefit the children.
• Put the children first during transitions — The transfer from one parent to the other can be stressful for children. Keeping the best interests of the children in mind — and at the forefront — may help you focus on what is best for your children.