It is very common to see lawyers and other well-meaning people put out advice about what to do before, during, and after a divorce. While thinking positively about what you should and can do is important, it is just as crucial to understand what you should NOT be doing throughout the divorce process.

Don’t Talk Bad About Your Ex

“But my ex is a jerk.”

That doesn’t mean you should talk bad about them.

“My ex is purposely making things difficult for me.”

This is not uncommon, but speaking poorly of them will only hurt what matters most – your relationship with your children and your rights. Anything you say can be thrown back in your face as part of your divorce and custody case.

If you must trash your ex, spend some time venting to a trusted friend or loved one. Or, better yet, write your thoughts down on a letter (and DON’T send it).

Don’t Fire Up the Dating Apps

Are you allowed to date before your divorce is finalized? Yes. However, doing so can add a layer of complexity to your personal life at a moment when things are complicated enough. One relationship at a time is the best approach when going through a divorce. Take care of yourself, your children, and your legal situation before building the next phase of your life.

Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself

We get it; you have a lot going on. You want to take care of your kids, keep your house in order, and prepare for the financial realities of your post-divorce life. All of these things are important, but don’t forget to take care of yourself too. A weekend away, a few hours with a great book, a relaxing afternoon in a hammock – you deserve it.